Little Reminders

Often times I let my stresses drown me. Stress at a certain point is a sickness. I have a small list of medicine for when stress becomes too much for me.

The list goes like this:

1. Big tubs of cookie dough and a spoon. 
2. Peppermint hot chocolate in a fox mug (gifted to me by my baby brother years ago)
3. A freshly cleaned and dried blanket, still emanating warmth from the dry cycle
4. Horseback rides on forested trails
5. Sitting in a comfortable silence next to my mom on the top step of the front porch
6. Campfires whose smoke clings to the fabric of my sweaters
7. A nap with one of my cats tucked next to my belly
8. Singing loudly, a maybe a bit off-key, to a song I really love
9. Taking an extremely hot shower, the kind that leave your skin pink, with steam clinging desperately to the air
10. Texting my dad
11. Deep cleaning my room, re-organize the shelves, and lighting a candle once I’ve finished
12. Running until my legs become heavy and I can no longer stand
13. A deep, clarifying, breath

Thirteen has always been a good number for me. Thirteen is misunderstood. I grew up in a superstitious yet religious family. My mother always told me thirteen was a feminine number, to signify trusting your intuition. Thirteen can even show that angels are watching over you.

When I have to do something on my list or even all of my list, I think of my angels. I think of my dad, my great grandpa, my friend Tyland Glidewell, my friend Alex Daily, my friend Sean Casey, my sweet Maine Coon Ramses, my dogs Clyde, Simba, Sidney, and Indy. I think of them watching over me. Somehow it gets a little easier to handle any existential crisis.

Little reminders are necessary. It important to remember to take care of yourself. It important to remind yourself you aren’t alone, even if all you have is angels watching your back. A reminder to take a deep breath, and take a step forward. Even if that step forward hurts like hell, and you know you’ll take two steps back, it’s important to keep moving forward.